Being a Sore Loser: Reflections of Summer

This summer I spent five weeks at the Eastern Music Festival. This was my first time back at a festival since my junior year. I had forgotten how much fun they are and how much they spark the desire to constantly think, breathe, and live in music. Though, my main takeaways from this experience are very similar to my freshman year reflection, I’ve gotten even more perspective on them because of the people I’ve met. 

One of these friends told me that he always plays concerts like every note might be his last. He was inspired to live that way after covid hit and one of his concerts really was his last for a while. I think I might take that sentiment and apply it to my own life. Every note counts. I want to learn my orchestral pieces better this year. I think I was so obsessive with my solo pieces in freshman year that I forgot that I want to be an orchestral musician. I should be putting an equal amount of time and effort into them. I hope to accomplish this goal or at least start fixing the balance this upcoming school year.

I’ve also learned that as a musician, I have not been very good at using other methods of practice without my instrument to improve as a musician. I think being around more college age music students has made me realize the importance of listening to pieces I haven’t played before and listening to the pieces I am playing with the score is just as important as practicing them with Icarus. I was so focused on improving how long I practice each day this past year that I forgot that the other methods of practice are just as beneficial. 

Finally, I learned how to take rejections. I faced a lot of those this summer. While auditions are almost never objective, that is besides the point. Through these rejections I discovered a new tool I can use to process these hard moments. I decided to reach out to the person who had won against me in the concerto competition and made an effort to improve based on them. I am a very sore loser, which is something I’m improving on; but, as soon as I make a connection with my winning colleague, all of that nasty jealousy goes away and turns into joy for my newfound friend. Another thing that these rejections have taught me is that being a strong section player is a great quality to have in this field and it absolutely enhances the orchestra. Every member of the orchestra should be equal in skill and devotion, no matter their desk or seat. 

Afternote: I don’t think this summer wouldn’t have been the same without my teachers Scott Flavin and Amy Frost Baumgarten. They inspired me to push myself further this summer and were so supportive of me as a musician and as an individual. I hope we keep in touch and that I keep them as mentors through my schooling and career.